how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
