call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
