Plan B is the new Plan A
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
