Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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