i just had sex bonerless
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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