today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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