he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
