i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
