we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
