we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Every concussion has its silver lining
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
