Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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