i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
