Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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