Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
