She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize