Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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