based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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