I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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