she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
