Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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