remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize