Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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