We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
