If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
