At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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