Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
