We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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