it wasn't lemon gatorade
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
