Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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