It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
