I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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