i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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