dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
