I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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