"it" just moved
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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