Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Did I show you my penis last night?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize