Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm too high and old for this...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
