i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
splinters make it hard to masturbate
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
