Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
