I'm so fucking centered right now
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
