Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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