I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
