White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
