I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize