Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize