Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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