just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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