I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
