Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
