bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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