So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
