so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
