Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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