she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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