I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
youre lurking in front of me
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
