I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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