white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize