i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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