A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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