No stitches, just platelets and will power
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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