dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
