I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
